Being rather than doing?

From Oprah's website:

The one big question most of us ask ourselves is "What should I do with my life?" For most people, it's very difficult to answer. Use these simple suggestions from people who have successfully answered this question and are now living the life of their dreams. Be inspired to pursue your dreams and discover the impact you are meant to have on the world!

• Listen to your inner voice. It takes practice to hear your true desires. Your passion will often come as a whisper or serendipitous event that reminds you of what's important and what makes you happy.
  
  
• Recognize crisis. Does your job feel like a grind? Are you spending your free time on something you love? Take an opportunity to appraise your happiness. One of the keys to living a purposeful life is seeing that you feel unfulfilled.
  
  
• Dwell in possibilities. Your passions could lead you in a lot of different directions to find fulfillment. Explore your life and unearth all of the things that bring you joy.
  
  
• Tune out the voice of the world. Make the strongest voice in your life your own. Finding your purpose could mean going against the advice of close friends and family. Take a leap of faith and trust in your dreams.
  
  
• Decide what kind of person you want to be. Rather than concentrating on what you want to do, think in terms of what kind of person you want to be. Let that guide your choices.
  
  
• Bring your heart to your work. It takes passion and courage to find a profession that you love. Spending the time to discover that job is time well spent—it could make all the difference in your life!
  
  
• Trust transformation. Hard times are a natural part of life. Don't be afraid to change because of your experiences. Instead, let them shape and steer your course.
  
  
• Have no regrets. According to the experts, it's easy to regret the time you've spent being unhappy or unfulfilled. Realize that during that time, you developed the skills you need to succeed!
  
  
• Take the first step. Destiny can't help you until you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. Get prepared to make changes in your life…and start making them!
  
  
• Be patient. Finding your life purpose won't happen overnight. In every life, there's a fast road and a slow road. Most of us take the slow road! Keep your commitment and take small steps to make it happen.

Reflections

S and I had a far-ranging, rather spiritual conversation yesterday morning, over breakfast, that I want to try to capture here for posting.

We were talking about our friend, Jeanne. Jeanne and S have always felt this 'connection' that defies rational explanation. They met only about ten years ago. Within a short time after their meeting, S said to me that she felt like she 'knew' Jeanne in ways she couldn't explain. When Jeanne speaks, S feels like she can finish her sentences for her. S has actually said that she believes (hard as it may seem) that she and Jeanne knew one another intimately in another lifetime. (Soul intimacy? Probably a more common expression is "soul mates.") She has spoken about this before, so it was not a surprise for me. She thinks other people probably experience these kinds of feelings or beliefs as well. What is unusual is to meet or know someone who can validate the feelings. That is what Jeanne can do. She validates S's sense of 'connection' in the same way that S validates hers.

From that unexplainable, spiritual 'soul connection,' we talked about how each of us is feeling, about our lives and our relationship with one another.

S said it this way: "I am where I'm supposed to be." Silence.

"Where is that relative to our relationship?"

A jabbing finger pointed at me. "I'm with YOU."

I chuckled. "Yes, you are."

She went on to say that she believes we may have known one another in another life. The 'sense' she has of me is as a young, rather insecure, little girl. She believes she was an adult (rather than a child), who felt protective of me. Beyond that, she doesn't know.

And for me? What does this mean?

I don't have any knowledge or prescience or sense about other or previous lives. I do feel that I'm supposed to be with S. I used to check my feelings about her and I always wanted to be with her. It felt right. But, honestly, our relationship is not an easy one; it requires a lot of hard work and determination to be together. When I consider leaving, moving on, seeking elsewhere, seeking out someone else, there is this very clear (repeat, very clear) sense that that would be a huge mistake. I am meant to be here, in this relationship, with S, easy or not. There are things I am meant to learn from her. She is the mentor, I am the student. I will learn from her, I will benefit by her. Part of my task is to be patient, to be still and listen, to observe, to learn. That is what is very clear in my purpose in this relationship, in this life.

S, too, says having this sense of being where she is supposed to be, creates a sense of comfort. But, beyond that comfort, there is a feeling of peace knowing that she is where is supposed to be.

I suppose, that in the large scheme of things, being where one is supposed to be is a reason to be thankful.